Two things I have to say. 1styou don't have a real marriage and 70% of people do not. I was married for 24 years total the first time until she passed. We reveled in each other's bodies twice per week after 15 years when it was 3 times per week and way more when we first got together. We talked, cooked, traveled, and raised children together. Almost 100% communication.

The 2nd thing is don't expect your lover to fit the role of husband or boyfriend. I saw this happen to me when the role of lover and friend was with me after she was gone and my heart wanted more. She had fit into a perfect spot for her and she wasn't going to change.

I get why you aren't divorced yet, you might not be able to stop from asking your lover for more but are you happy with 75% of your waking life being second to the table chair?