Member-only story
Touch me, and don’t let go.
The woman you desire the most may never be what you imagined, so don’t enter her life from a fantasy.
I’d come from the hospital where I left the body of my wife, who passed out at home and was not responding to any CPR to revive her. The emotions in the family room, with the nuns and nurses, and finally with her lifeless hand in mine were the most painful I had ever felt in my life.
I walked out thinking I had flushed the worst in that room, but I would soon know it was just the beginning.
I sat in my car, stunned. I shut the door, put the key in the ignition, turned it, and ensured the heater was on, but I couldn’t move. My mind was saying stupid things like, “I am no longer married. I am not tied down.”
I was in shock, but part of me knew something had been wrong between Elle and me over the last 18 months. Three days before, we nearly separated, but I couldn’t let this woman, with whom I had been through bad times and great times over the last 24 years, slip by over the lack of effort and sense of absence around her.
Now, she was gone. Is this why?
Regardless of all the meditation and metaphysical training you have over the idea that death is just change and the energy shifts from the physical to the non goes out the window. The loss of my wife would feel as if I…
