This is very good advice, and it was nice to hear my mother and father come through in your words.

I was a real mess after my first wife died. I was active but not the sexiest man alive by a long shot. I worked out, ate clean, dressed well and remembered what I loved best about my wife, and gave more ear time, patience, and humor.

After 12 months of hard grieving and well-intentioned friends who took care of me in every way. (Not going to write it here), I created a "plenty of fish" profile that required editing many times over, let's say a month, I had it right and the coffee dates, 3 per week, came in. Some led to dance dates and others just a good conversation and a few completely out in left field. I stopped being concerned about what I needed and realized there were great beautiful women who wanted to be heard, hugged, a humored. There is nothing wrong with the dating of old among ladies and gentlemen. I found that one great one among the fish and our coffee date closed the shop with just conversation. We married just over a year later.